My grandma passed away on May 4. I hadn't seen her in 4 years and the last image I now have of her is laying in a beautiful casket and me touching her cold hand. That's not the way I want to remember her, but the last visit was so long ago that it's hard for me to think of a different way of seeing her.

The wake, the mass, the final resting place...all beautiful. My mom did a good job, but it was all stuff grandma wouldn't have wanted. It was more for my mom and aunt. I feel bad for my mom. She was saying back in February "I hope grandma can make it to August" (that was when we had planned to go see her). But at least I know she didn't suffer when she passed. My cousin Lora said she was fine that morning and then came home to find her on the floor with my grandpa holding her. Lora threw everything out of the way and started doing CPR. But she was already gone.

I wish I was able to see her alive one more time. I wish I didn't let all that time pass without seeing her. She didn't even get to meet the man I am going to marry. But I am glad I was able to head out to New Jersey even despite the circumstances. I was able to see all my family and even the ones from Hawaii.

It makes you step back and think about how precious life is and how you should cherish your time with loved ones. And don't let too much time go by without telling your loved ones how much you love them.